My 'No-Regrets' Life Policy

Just last night, I found myself in yet another argument with my partner.....Don't you just love it?! You look SO forward to Friday night as you have been so busy throughout the week that you haven't had time to PROPERLY savour your most loved one/s, and wouldn't you know it, just at the time you DO have to ENJOY each other, "the sh*t hits the fan", as my delightful father would say!



Of course I probably wouldn't be so keen to share this information with you in the relatively recent past as, you know, we are CONDITIONED as humans to put on a happy front and always appear as though you have it together.

This year though I realised that the thing I love MOST about life, people, things and myself, is AUTHENTICITY....! There is SO much available to learn when you are open to seeing the WHOLE of something- a person, place, situation, thing and yes, yourself...

In the past, I know I was addicted to the positive, feel-good side of life and people. I wanted to live there all the time...This actually made life quite tough as in REALITY there is 2 sides to everything....It meant too that I lived in denial a lot of the time and quite often could not see the forest for the trees in certain situations, people included....Quite a dangerous way to navigate life...!



I have since learnt that life- and people (myself included)- is/are much more rewarding, enriching, beautiful and fulfilling when you choose to embrace and SEE the WHOLE picture....There is just as much beauty, wonder and richness in the "dark" as there is the "light", and the truth is, it is only US and our conditioning that will label and judge something as good/bad/right/wrong/etc in the first place!

Anyway, back to my original point!

So, my partner and I were arguing and I was frustrated....! Majorly...! It just seemed like we were on totally different planes, speaking languages that the other just did not comprehend. I could see blatantly a whole lot of blame, justification and excuses being bandied around and it was really p***ing me off!

Instead of yelling and screaming like I used to, I have learnt a brilliant way of life this year that is much less about reaction and more about reflection..It is also about learning to communicate authentically from the heart...

So instead of chucking my ego in the equation, as I know exactly how that would play out and end, I found some weird inner voice emerge from me that I have never quite experienced before...it was that voice of truth that lives inside of me, however stays within the protective bounds of my inner sacred self as it seems so precious that to risk it being damaged is just way too scary to contemplate...

So without ANY THOUGHT, out came this voice....it spoke automatically...clearly...calmly...with pure love and pure truth...it was amazing...the atmosphere change was immediate and my partners energy shifted instantly....he sat still, softening and transfixed to the spot....

I shared with my partner in that moment the ABSOLUTE TRUTH of who I am and what I TRULY believe about life....It seems incredulous that the person who is meant to be the closest to you may not know this information, however if you have never shared it- openly, unedited, clearly and from love- how can they possibly GET IT/US...?

Furthermore, I think last night, I learnt a lot about me that until that point I had not consciously acknowledged to myself....of course then, it makes sense that my partner could not have known!!

Last night was a true turning point for me, and our relationship, as I discovered a deeper level of truth that I didn't realised had not yet been penetrated....



I learnt a few things from last night's squabble...

-learning to communicate with authenticity, from our hearts and without any sign of ego is an INVALUABLE skill that will only ever lead to an enriched experience of life and relationships, even though it may mean TEMPORARY pain...

-many of us automatically and unconsciously ASSUME that our partner GETS US....we get frustrated and annoyed when they don't and hardly ever take the time to consider how WE play 50% of the role in miscommunication, misunderstanding and in creating hurtful experiences

-I have a perspective on life that is INCREDIBLY unique and something I need to talk about MUCH more as it is a truly valuable and life-shifting gift that many others take a LIFETIME to learn, or sadly, never learn. Until last night I took this perspective for granted and didn't realise just how much it determines WHY I truly AM so happy AND could happily die at any moment and have NO REGRETS....!

I know that my partner was truly captured when I shared with him my ABSOLUTE TRUTH on how I think, feel and interact with life, so I'd LOVE to share it with you...

I guess my "conscious" life really started for me when I was around the age of 10. I had spent a lot of my childhood being fat, unfit, picked on and feeling not just self-conscious, but INCREDIBLY ASHAMED of my physical self. I truly HATED my body and had so much discontent and resentment for it and how it impacted my life...

I would cry most days in my room imagining how I could simply "cut off" the fat parts of my body and then have a vessel that was beautiful like everyone else's, that fitted into jeans and other trendy clothes.. (you can see the piccies on my website here)

So, a lot of my life at that age was CONSUMED with feeling SHAME, HATE and utter DESPAIR...I wanted more than anything to BE in life...to HAVE FUN like everyone else and FEEL GOOD about just hanging out completely CARE FREE and not at all conscious of my physical self...

I experienced SO much pain in this time of my life that it prompted a life shift that has made me WHO I AM TODAY...

I am SO grateful for these childhood experiences...

I decided through that pain that I would not sit on the sidelines of life anymore! I would NOT go to high school being overweight and picked on...

I would learn how to LOVE good food that would enable me to TRULY enjoy eating (as it was and always WILL BE, one of my TRUE great loves!) and TRULY ENJOY life! I would allow myself to become a person I was proud of and AT HOME within my own body...

I refused to DIET; I refused to DEPRIVE and PUNISH my body....I wanted to do it the SMART way....

And so marked the beginning of a life-long journey that will of course continue until the day I cease to be...

I will not bore you with all the details, however, I thought it important to share with you just what it was that got me to start living with such awareness as many people do ask me how it is I have come to "be so wise".....

Basically PAIN...LOTS OF PAIN....

I do not necessarily think that pain is a vital catalyst to living a conscious life...it simply was mine...

I think too that often we deny, ignore or push PAIN away not realising the incredible gift it has to offer us...it truly can hold the SEED to an incredible life...it simply takes courage and commitment to not "medicate" it, but rather, face it head on with utter truth and deepself-reflection...

This has been my learning anyway...You may have another perspective all together which of course is perfect! We are completely UNIQUE beings, and that is one of the true beauty's of life!

There is another life-shifting memory that I went on to share with my partner last night, and that I would also love to share with you, as I realise now it too marked another point in which CONSCIOUS CHOICE and taking the "path less travelled" truly served me and enabled me to live the BLESSED and BLISSFUL life I do today...

It was the memory of living in Melbourne and having the most incredible job I could imagine, working with the most DIVINE team and being paid more than most dietetic managers get paid after working in the hospital system for 30 years...!!..I had a gorgeous partner who couldn't do enough for me, or do more to make my life utterly enjoyable; 2 beautiful dogs; a lovely and comfy home in a great location; 2 thriving Private Practices which I had worked very hard to get to that point, and life was GOOD...! At least, it SHOULD have been...right?!

Well yes, I felt I SHOULD have been more grateful and appreciative of my life yet I could not find that fire of passion within me that I so desperately wanted and KNEW was somewhere to discover....



I would drive home often exhausted, grumpy, feeling hollow and trying to figure out why I just wasn't happy....I had a LOT of time to reflect as it was an hour and twenty minutes drive ONE way in NO traffic from where I worked 2-3 days a week...!

Life got to such a point that I felt exactly as though I was living GROUNDHOG day, day after day, after day....! I know many others get to this point too....

I KNEW there was something not quite right...something that was calling me from elsewhere, yet I just could not work out what that was...

Then one day I did something completely spontaneous- and for me- dramatic! I decided ON THE SPOT, as I sat in my clinic in Woodend, that I was taking a HOLIDAY...! I could not remember the last time I had taken a HOLIDAY for no other reason than to CHILL and ENJOY life....

My prior 22 years had all been about being "constructive" with my time; "learning something new" at least once a day and consuming and digesting all the information I possibly could...I just had NO IDEA how to sit down for more than 3 seconds and simply ENJOY the moment...as for smelling the roses, why the hell would I do that...?!

What was the point...?! I still remember the attitude I owned which lead me to boldly proclaim to my partner, "Don't waste money buying me flowers, they just die...Instead, if you ever feel like buying them for me, put the money aside and buy me a bottle of perfume instead.."!!!

I am almost too ashamed to admit that...! How utterly facetious!



These days, flowers are one of those simple pleasures I adore and indulge in EVERY WEEK! I still cannot believe how different my perspective was back then...how much LIFE I was unknowingly missing out on....!

Anyway, yes, I decided to book a holiday! One of my good childhood friends had moved to the Sunny State of Queensland a few years earlier and I had always promised I would go and see her, but had never managed to carve out the time...

So, it was in a state of utter fatigue and dissatisfaction with life that I decided I would GO!

Within not too long I found myself in the most utterly divine place I could imagine...! I was incredulous that such a place could exist and even more staggered at just how I could possibly continue to live in Melbourne, knowing that there was A HEAVEN on EARTH...!

I felt for the FIRST TIME that thing I was yearning for...that FIRE of PASSION that I was so desperately missing in Melbourne....that thing that made me EXCITED and INSPIRED about life again...like I had, for the first time, experienced life in RICH, BOLD and CAPTIVATING colour, rather than drab, dull and uninspiring shades of GREY...!

I KNEW I had to move....I KNEW I could not continue life as I had been living it, EVEN THOUGH I enjoyed quite a charmed life....

I didn't care for the money, the success, the opportunities, the connections, the career-experience I was immersed in almost unboundedly...

When I told people my plans, I was met with nothing but remarks of complete discouragement... "What?!" "Why?!" "You'll hate it!" "You'll be back!" "They are 20 years behind" "There are NO career opportunities up there!" "Why would you go backwards??!"

Not too many people (if ANY at all) were encouraging...!

One of the most critical was of course my mum (bless her heart!) who exclaimed with embarrassment, "Don't tell people that! They'll think you are CRAZY! " to which I gleefully and defiantly replied, "I don't care what they think, that is what I am doing!"

So with that, within 2 months I had recruited a friend from Uni to take over the world's best ever Dietetics Position at my true love clinic in Woodend; found replacements for my 2 other Private Practices in Surrey Hills and Croyden; notified my landlord that I was breaking the lease; packed up my home; left another job I had at a Care Facility in Knox; said Goodbye to my friends and family and HIT THE ROAD in my loaded-to-the-brim '91 Honda Civic, on my way to Canberra. Yes, I conveniently co-incided my departure with the AIS's Sports Nutrition course so I could earn the credential of Sports Dietitian. (see, never one to miss an opportunity to add to my knowledge bank! haha)

So after quite a journey I found myself in Sunny QLD, waitressing on the Mooloolaba Esplanade, living with family friends and blissing out at how magical life was...!

This is really JUST THE BEGINNING of THE STORY OF MY LIFE...The past 4 years here in QLD really has lead to such a profound DISCOVERY OF ME, and if the truth be told, of the BEAUTY OF LIFE....

I will not go further into the details however, let me just say it was an INCREDIBLY tough journey at times, and there were moments I almost gave up and went home...it honestly got THAT hard...

I am pleased to say that I am SO GLAD I stuck it out....!

Again, through PAIN- sometimes more than I thought I could bare- I found the seeds of my YUMMY LIFE ;p



There you have it..!. Quite a ramble...!

The essence of what I am getting at though is I am so glad to have learned early that THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to me IS TO LIVE an AUTHENTIC life, ALIGNED with my TRUE self in which I have NO REGRETS...

To make up my OWN story about what life is about and LIVE by that, rather than buying into EVERYONE else's view of life...

You see I too could have easily ended up being one of "those people" who gets to the end of their life wondering, "What if?"

I could easily have stayed in my charmed and comfortable life in Melbourne, climbing the career ladder, being caught in the 9-5 rat race that so many people accept as "reality"....

Life, I'm sure would have been fine....good....pleasant....

It just wouldn't have been UNREAL....! AMAZING! SPECTACULAR! It wouldn't have made me TINGLE with sheer joy, excitement and BLISS....it wouldn't have made me laugh, cry and gasp with at times impossible-to-withold PASSION and GRATITUDE....!

I am SO GRATEFUL to have realised that I had a CHOICE... I am so glad that I allowed myself to follow my dream and listen to my quiet inner whisper....

I am SO thankful that I somehow found the courage and audacity to pave my own path....

I shared with my partner last night that I live my life ALL of the time KNOWING that any moment could be my last....

I live FULLY EXPRESSING my love, passion, emotions and inner truths, even though at times it leads to ridicule, judgement and "behind my back" sniggers....

Yes, there are things I would LOVE to do and I am confident I WILL get to one day....These are NOT things though that if I died tomorrow I would regret that I never did...They are simply experiences that I know will enrich my life further and be enjoyable to live through...

I am no longer in a rush to GET somewhere, ACHIEVE certain things or BE someone more....

I have learnt and realised that LIFE is NOW and WHO I am has nothing to do with what I am or am not DOING....what I have or have not ACHIEVED... what MATERIAL wealth I have or have not accumulated...

I have learnt to appreciate the MAGIC and MIRACLE of life in every MOMENT and truly feel RICH, BLESSED and AMAZED at the DEPTH of BEAUTY in life that I continue to uncover and discover...

I can honestly say that if and when I ever get to a point in life again where I feel and hear that yearn and whisper within...I will listen...and I will obey....

Living life ON PURPOSE is truly the most magical thing you could ever experience and LIVNG WITH NO REGRETS is truly my number 1 Life Policy......



What is yours? :)

For one of the most INCREDIBLE slide shows you will ever watch on the 5 Secrets to Life as shared by hundreds of people AT THE END OF THEIR LIFE....click here.....

This truly made me STOP AND THINK and I am ever so GRATEFUL I had the privilege to receive from it the wisdom of retrospect from so many lives lived before mine.....Every time I watch it I buzz with gratitude for my life and life in general....

I share it with as many people as I can, as I truly believe it is a gift...I hope you enjoy it too! :)

LOTS OF LOVE,

BridgetJane
Food Body Lifestyle Guru
Writer, Speaker, Consultant

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Sunshine Coast, QLD

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