What are you affirming?

There was a time when I thought Affirmations were kind of "fluffy" ideas about things we want. "Wishful ideas" about how we want our life to be. I understood them to be simply a kind of "positive thinking" brainwashing technique that could "trick" us that life is grand, WE are grand and everything is all rainbows and lollipops.

Before I truly understood the power and influence of the subconscious, versus conscious, minds on our daily lives and experiences, I had no way of understanding what Affirmations really were, how I was already affirming things all day, everyday and how to EFFECTIVELY begin to create a healthier headspace that would powerfully affect my daily reality.

Stop now for a moment. What are the thoughts running through your mind right now? What are the thoughts that run through your mind regularly in fact? Day in, day out?

Perhaps you have never given them much notice. Perhaps you believe that you "think nothing much at all".

I would beg to differ with you if that is the case, and I would also like to challenge you to pay special attention to the nearly continuous inner dialogue running through your mind every waking moment.

I guess one vivid moment in which I truly became aware of my inner dialogue and the incessant ideas it was generating about myself, life, the world, others, and just about anything else you could care to have an opinion on, was really quite recently.

It is a little embarrassing to share this deeply insightful experience with you, however, being the openly expressive, innocent, light and goofy being I truly am, I will not let that stop me from sharing with you one of my most profound learnings.

I was lying on the bed in my room trying to calm myself down. I had worked myself into a tiz packing frantically, and last minute, for a trip to Melbourne. I had an overwhelming feeling of dread, my throat was tight, my heart pounding and I could not think clearly. My partner, Brad, looked at me confused and asked, "Babe, what's wrong?"

At that very moment I became aware of all the insane, relentless and bullying ideas running through my mind, "You always overpack"; "You are hopeless"; "People are going to think you are mental"; "Why can't you ever pack sensibly?"; "For goodness sakes, you really are terrible".

I was aghast. Never did I imagine or realise my attitude to myself could be quite so horrible. It gave me a truly shifting insight into how I had been creating the entire struggle that my life was actually being at that time (not just at that moment).

I started to laugh. "Oh my goodness, Brad! You will have NO idea what is going through my mind right now! I had NO idea! No wonder I feel so terrible and am having such a tough time!"

Immediately I felt relaxed. Mental clarity completely restored and I suddenly became composed. I even began to feel light, excited and positive about my impending trip.

I also noticed the immediate accompanying change in my mental thoughts.

"So what if you have overpacked?"; "What's the big deal?"; "Everyone knows what you are like and they think it is funny; SO typical of Bridget!"; "It is not a bad thing to be as 'unique' as I am, that is ME, and those who know and love me, love and accept me for being exactly who I am".

Wow! The relief! The humour. How quickly my experience had changed. How immediate the shift in my physiology been.

I simply could not believe the power of what was going on in my mind and how REAL and SERIOUS it had made everything seem.

You do hear about it all the time though, don't you?

"You become and create what you think about most"

"Thoughts become things"

Many of us may think, "Yeah...yeah...whatever..."

We may think its fluff, "weirdo stuff" or only for the deeply spiritual and universally aware beings....

Let me say though, firstly, we ARE all spiritual and universally connected beings, although our awareness of this fact may be at various levels, AND secondly, you ARE already affirming things in your mind OVER and OVER anyway, so you may as well check in with them to see if they are what you want to be creating in your life, or not.

This is NOT about simply thinking positive and living in some la la land where all your dreams, desires and fantasies reside....

It IS however about getting REAL with yourself about the true power you have in creating your life and experience in every moment.

Most of us unconsciously have an attitude towards ourselves that quite frankly, SUCKS!

We would NEVER dream of talking to our best friend in the way in which we dialogue with ourselves ALL DAY LONG, and we would realise that if we wanted to positively encourage a young child to get a handle on something new (like walking for instance) we would NEVER CONTEMPLATE standing over them and chanting jives such as, "Look at you! You are hopeless! You fell! That means you will NEVER walk! You will NEVER do anything positive! You are so useless, worthless and shameful!"

YET, PEOPLE, WE OFTEN DO THIS TO OURSELVES ALL DAY LONG!!!

I am not saying for certain that we ALL do it- yes there are many of you out there who have become aware of your inner dialogue and realised the power it has in your life. Many of you have even been able to completely change this inner voice to be a more caring, compassionate, encouraging and supportive one.

I would vie though for the most of us that we sit somewhere on the scale from "completely unaware" to "consciously observing the 2 competing voices and trying to shift the power to the more supportive one"...

I know for me, the latter end of the scale is currently true for me.

I am completely aware- on the most part- of the wicked, bratty, evil little voice in my head and how often it tries to convince me of things that if I thought RATIONALLY and with CLARITY about, I would KNOW are not true, however, it is still a daily, ongoing journey that requires much CONSCIOUS practice to retrain myself to give the power to the "other voice".

I can say with true joy however that I DO now have- or rather are now simply more AWARE of- the positive, supportive, caring and rational voice.

The part of me that says, "Thats ok Bridget, you are doing your best"; "You are a beautiful person with good intentions, you love life and people and have nothing to fear"; "You are safe to be who you really are and to express your truth in the world".

It IS such a relief to now often hear that reassuring part of me. That part that needs no external validation, no outer provided joys, no exterior comforts, escapes or medicating distractions.

That part of me that sees all, knows all and can navigate life with clarity, truth, confidence and joy.

That part of me that dreams, fantasises and helps me bring to life the outward expression of who I truly am on the inside.

The part of me that lets me write, speak and express freely without fear of ridicule, judgement or exposure.

That part that simply allows me to be ME!

What a truly incredible shift and what a truly invaluable gift....!

Give this to yourself too....

In a very quick nutshell, here is how I foster the life and flourish-ment of my lovely inner voice and let go of entertaining and feeding the bratty, evil and contorting inner dialogue.

1) I have learnt to RELAX- not just superficially, whilst still thinking of what I have to do next, where I should be, who I have to talk to, call, follow up, email, etc etc!

I have learnt to DEEPLY relax, eliciting the deep, slow, regenerative and restorative alpha brain wave patterns that are so healing to our bodies and minds. I cannot go into detail here, but lets just say that when you TRULY relax and immerse yourself in a peaceful state, you create POWERFUL physiological changes within your body that actually heal and create good health.

Let me also add, this was a GRADUAL process which I learnt to do OVER TIME with PRACTICE and CONSISTENCY. I started with a minimum of 5 minutes of daily meditation- which I had NO idea how to do! There are MANY ways...simply find a technique that resonates with you....

2) I REFUSE to be busy- yes we may have lots to do in a day and we may feel pressured to get it all done, however I have learnt that it is VITAL to have boundaries, to learn to say NO and that I do NOT have to be everywhere and taking up EVERY opportunity that comes my way. I have learnt to TRUST that my path is MINE alone and I am free to navigate it how I wish...

3) I make time to CONSCIOUSLY ENJOY my life everyday! Once upon a time I had no inclination or interest to smell the roses. I thought wind and rain were an inconvenience and that everyone should get out of my way so I could get where I needed to be! (yes, true! How facetious!)

These days I have a very "Come what may" attitude to life. I receive and enjoy the beauty and wonder of life NOW in THIS MOMENT and I now honestly feel that if I were to die tomorrow, I would have NO regrets!

Sure, I may not have written an International Best Seller. I may not have been on Oprah and changed millions of lives pioneering a Worldwide Wellness Movement, but you know what?

I TRULY LOVED the beauty and simplicity of life and felt TRULY connected to an ALL ONE energy and force that needs no tangible expression. I'm not sure if you will get what I mean here, but this view and experience of life is one I believe is truly invaluable, humbling and blissfully fulfilling....

It is also one that took me a while to "wake up" to consciously. I would also add, it is one that requires ongoing, daily, moment to moment nurturing and fostering....

Oh....! I have so much more to say......!

And therein lies the reason I MUST WRITE! :)

So....as long as I can keep the brat at bay....expect to hear MUCH more on how to live your GREATEST LIFE! :)

Lots of LOVE to you!

BridgetJane

Food, Body, Lifestyle Guru

www.newleafnutrition.com.au

If you want insight into just what really goes on on your head, take a look at your life right now......

Presence, Gratitude and Perspective

Yesterday I received the following "Everyday Calm" email from Total Balance.

"Is gratitude enough?

Sometimes themes appear with my clients. Not obvious ones like everyone feeling a bit less energetic because of the cold weather - but more subtle things. This week's theme was that people feel they should be more grateful for what they have.

Gratitude is such an important part of Positive Psychology but sometimes it's not enough.

It is important to bring your attention to what's going well in your life but it's equally important to acknowledge what isn't.

Mindfulness is about learning to be present to your experience - to notice and acknowledge your feelings and thoughts (good and bad), without judgement.

In a way, this is contradictory to the experience of expressing gratitude - which many people find confusing.

There must be room for both gratitude and acceptance in our lives.

For the most part, our brains have a negative bias, so many of us have a tendency toward pessimistic thinking. Which is why practicing gratitude is important. But it's unrealistic to always be optimistic and positive. And for anyone who's spent too much time with a 'Pollyanna' type, you'll agree that it's downright annoying.

Life will always be a blend of suffering and joy.

Sometimes we need to just go with our experiences as they arise. And feel them for what they are.

By all means ask the question 'is there anything I want to change?'. But don't beat yourself up if you don't feel gratitude for every moment of the day.

Life sucks some days. And that's ok."
You can see the Total Balance blog here

Then, browsing through Facebook, as I do, I stumbled upon a message thread of the following content:

"Reality Check- Putting things into Perspective

We all know people that complain about anything and everything. Things like "I don't have enough money, I feel fat, I want that new designer handbag, my boyfriend perves all the time" and it goes on and on. Admittedly, I have been guilty of wishing for tiny silly little things as well. The past few days has been a massive dose of reality. It has really rocked me to the core.

A family friend that I grew up with last week got told that her husband has between 2 weeks and 2 months to live at a best case scenario. Cancer! She is in her late 30s and he is early 40s so not old! She is such an amazing strong person that has had to tell her kids that their dad is dying and also remain strong for her husband.

She has put on such a brave front and has inspired me. I would have honestly fallen apart. Instead she is organising funeral and taking on all responsibilities of the house and children whilst trying to spend as much time with her husband. It has given me a sense of clarity and really made me look at myself and things that I take for granted especially family.

I wanted to share this so that each of us can look at our lives and cherish every moment we have together. Cause while we go to sleep wishing for a new car or to shed 5kgs, my friend goes to sleep wishing for another good day with the man she loves.
Puts everything into perspective doesn't it!!!!"

Some comments added to the original message were:

"My best friends dad was the man on the bike hit and dragged by the car at _____ over the weekend. It's a miracle he is alive. And your right, it gives you a huge reality check. "

"Definitely agree. A lady at work just last week had her daughter die with a brain tumour that no-one knew about, no warning nothing, gone at 44, two kids under ten left behind."

"I got tears reading this. Perspective really matters. For the 3 months little ___ was in hospital, especially the first couple of weeks, when we didn't know if he was going to make it, I got SO mad just reading people's Facebook status's, thinking to myself, "You people have NO IDEA about what really matters, that's just STUPID." I got quite angry about it, but felt bad for feeling that way and thinking those things. My thoughts are with your friends, and heartfelt wishes for the time they have together to be the best and most loving it can be xo"

"Yes, we really have no problems at all...nothing to whinge about...you are so right...

I pondered the same idea Monday when I texted a client a little hello msg for no particular reason and she texted me back telling me her mum had had a heart attack and a stroke...

We are so lucky for everyday and should remember this all throughout our days....its easy to be great when things are great, but our real test lies in being ok, when things are not going our way....its important to stay composed when all those little irritations pop up, remembering just how lucky we really are..."

So all of this whirred around in my head yesterday as I reflected upon gratitude, presence and perspective...

I became quite a good, detached observer of myself yesterday noticing my becoming very irritated at being the 30th or so car stuck behind a seemingly blissfully unaware Winnebago cruiser idling along at under 80km/hr in a single laned, double-lined 100km/hr zone.....!

The above Facebook message's echoed through my head and although I allowed myself to be slightly annoyed, I took a few deep breaths and thought about the poor families and people who were involved in all of the above cases.

I started to look at the situation I was PRESENTLY in with gratitude. This potentially irritating situation was simply an opportunity to grow my soul and be in alignment with my heart. The gift was a lesson in patience. One of my most significant and valuable soul journey's...I have noticed this theme over and over in my life and everyday I am now noticing opportunities to evolve to higher spiritual levels, by demonstrating patience.

Just this morning I was impressed with how easily and smoothly I handled another potential irritation of the really "not-so-important" type...You know those task's that require you to call an AUTOMATED service, be put on hold for 20 minutes, just so the person on the other line can tell you they can't help you, what you want simply can't be done, then you ask to speak to the supervisor, get put on hold for another 15 minutes, calmly explain your situation to the all powerful supervisor, get put back on hold for another 15 minutes, THEN, lo-and-behold, in fact you CAN get what you want.....you just need to be NICE, PATIENT and keep your cool....! :)It also helps to look at all the time on hold as an opportunity to read those mag's you never have time for, or do some housework, or paint your nails! ;p Oh, the possibilities!

This might sound like a silly example but look at the potential scenario's:

1) You are rude, blow your top, spend almost an hour on the phone, DON'T get what you want and DON'T get anything else done either= WASTED TIME, ANGER, FRUSTRATION and STRESS CHEMISTRY firing off in your body (who does that hurt????.....)

2) You are calm, speak to the operator as though they are a human being, remain understanding, pleasant yet firm in your request, do other things while you wait patiently, DON'T get what you want, BLOW your top then = time not wasted but stress chemistry still firing off and affecting you

3) You are calm, speak to the operator as though they are a human being, remain understanding, pleasant yet firm in your request, do other things while you wait patiently, DO eventually get what you want, or don't, but don't take it personally and simply ACCEPT that is the way it is and perhaps there is some other way you can tackle this challenge= time not wasted, valuable soul tests passed with flying colours and nothing but healthy, happy chemistry buzzing on inside you leaving you feeling at peace and in your power!

This can only be good in every respect from a body, mind AND soul perspective!

As Sonia Choquette "channels" in her excellent book "Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose" (HIGHLY recommended read),

"It is easy to believe you are a Divine Immortal Soul when everything goes according to your wants and desires. It is more difficult to remember your Inner Being's purpose and power, and to remain connected to your Higher Self and centered, when life becomes demanding. It is only when you confront all situations with grace, patience and love that you find your strength and ultimate freedom, and gratitude to living in harmony with your Greater Consciousness."

Wow....powerful stuff.

So yes, the past week has been incredibly valuable for me in soul growth. Everyday I am confronted with situations that require patience, grace, love and compassion, both in my inner and outer worlds. Yes, please don't think that it's just these "petty" little scenario's that have made me reflect on all of this...as I said these are themes for my life entire life right now...

We must always remember that what we are perceiving and experiencing in our outer world is simply a projection of what is going on within us.

If we are harsh, impatient, resistant and judgemental with the outside world, then you can be guaranteed that is exactly how you are engaging with yourself in your inner world. That, my friends, can only hurt YOU. Negativity and resistance of ANY type translates as STRESS in the body. Small amounts of stress are fine, possibly productive and healthy, yet consistent, ongoing and habitual stress responses are the ones that really do the damage. As they say it's not what we do SOME of the time that matters, it's what we do MOST of the time...a tendency towards reactive and negative ways of being will ultimately hurt you...

I am fascinated with how what goes on in our minds affects our body and spirit, and ultimately creates health and energy, or illness and struggle.

What I do know is that we are ultimately the creators of our world. That does not mean necessarily that we are responsible for everything that happens to us, or around us, rather that we CHOOSE how we will allow these things to impact on us, thereby creating the reality we experience.

If we go back to the original Facebook message regarding the poor woman who is faced with losing her young husband and father to her children. Did she create his cancer? Did he create his cancer? Very controversial questions that I would ever attempt to answer...

What I DO know is, this woman has CHOSEN to face the facts of what is going on in her physical world, no matter how unfair, with ACCEPTANCE. She inherently realises the futility of anger, grief and victim-hood status and instead chooses to make every moment count. In each moment love can be felt and true joy experienced.

That my friends is how presence, gratitude and perspective have played out for me this week.

What are your thoughts?

Love and health to you all xoxo

BridgetJane
Food Body Lifestyle Guru
www.newleafnutrition.com.au