My 'No-Regrets' Life Policy

Just last night, I found myself in yet another argument with my partner.....Don't you just love it?! You look SO forward to Friday night as you have been so busy throughout the week that you haven't had time to PROPERLY savour your most loved one/s, and wouldn't you know it, just at the time you DO have to ENJOY each other, "the sh*t hits the fan", as my delightful father would say!



Of course I probably wouldn't be so keen to share this information with you in the relatively recent past as, you know, we are CONDITIONED as humans to put on a happy front and always appear as though you have it together.

This year though I realised that the thing I love MOST about life, people, things and myself, is AUTHENTICITY....! There is SO much available to learn when you are open to seeing the WHOLE of something- a person, place, situation, thing and yes, yourself...

In the past, I know I was addicted to the positive, feel-good side of life and people. I wanted to live there all the time...This actually made life quite tough as in REALITY there is 2 sides to everything....It meant too that I lived in denial a lot of the time and quite often could not see the forest for the trees in certain situations, people included....Quite a dangerous way to navigate life...!



I have since learnt that life- and people (myself included)- is/are much more rewarding, enriching, beautiful and fulfilling when you choose to embrace and SEE the WHOLE picture....There is just as much beauty, wonder and richness in the "dark" as there is the "light", and the truth is, it is only US and our conditioning that will label and judge something as good/bad/right/wrong/etc in the first place!

Anyway, back to my original point!

So, my partner and I were arguing and I was frustrated....! Majorly...! It just seemed like we were on totally different planes, speaking languages that the other just did not comprehend. I could see blatantly a whole lot of blame, justification and excuses being bandied around and it was really p***ing me off!

Instead of yelling and screaming like I used to, I have learnt a brilliant way of life this year that is much less about reaction and more about reflection..It is also about learning to communicate authentically from the heart...

So instead of chucking my ego in the equation, as I know exactly how that would play out and end, I found some weird inner voice emerge from me that I have never quite experienced before...it was that voice of truth that lives inside of me, however stays within the protective bounds of my inner sacred self as it seems so precious that to risk it being damaged is just way too scary to contemplate...

So without ANY THOUGHT, out came this voice....it spoke automatically...clearly...calmly...with pure love and pure truth...it was amazing...the atmosphere change was immediate and my partners energy shifted instantly....he sat still, softening and transfixed to the spot....

I shared with my partner in that moment the ABSOLUTE TRUTH of who I am and what I TRULY believe about life....It seems incredulous that the person who is meant to be the closest to you may not know this information, however if you have never shared it- openly, unedited, clearly and from love- how can they possibly GET IT/US...?

Furthermore, I think last night, I learnt a lot about me that until that point I had not consciously acknowledged to myself....of course then, it makes sense that my partner could not have known!!

Last night was a true turning point for me, and our relationship, as I discovered a deeper level of truth that I didn't realised had not yet been penetrated....



I learnt a few things from last night's squabble...

-learning to communicate with authenticity, from our hearts and without any sign of ego is an INVALUABLE skill that will only ever lead to an enriched experience of life and relationships, even though it may mean TEMPORARY pain...

-many of us automatically and unconsciously ASSUME that our partner GETS US....we get frustrated and annoyed when they don't and hardly ever take the time to consider how WE play 50% of the role in miscommunication, misunderstanding and in creating hurtful experiences

-I have a perspective on life that is INCREDIBLY unique and something I need to talk about MUCH more as it is a truly valuable and life-shifting gift that many others take a LIFETIME to learn, or sadly, never learn. Until last night I took this perspective for granted and didn't realise just how much it determines WHY I truly AM so happy AND could happily die at any moment and have NO REGRETS....!

I know that my partner was truly captured when I shared with him my ABSOLUTE TRUTH on how I think, feel and interact with life, so I'd LOVE to share it with you...

I guess my "conscious" life really started for me when I was around the age of 10. I had spent a lot of my childhood being fat, unfit, picked on and feeling not just self-conscious, but INCREDIBLY ASHAMED of my physical self. I truly HATED my body and had so much discontent and resentment for it and how it impacted my life...

I would cry most days in my room imagining how I could simply "cut off" the fat parts of my body and then have a vessel that was beautiful like everyone else's, that fitted into jeans and other trendy clothes.. (you can see the piccies on my website here)

So, a lot of my life at that age was CONSUMED with feeling SHAME, HATE and utter DESPAIR...I wanted more than anything to BE in life...to HAVE FUN like everyone else and FEEL GOOD about just hanging out completely CARE FREE and not at all conscious of my physical self...

I experienced SO much pain in this time of my life that it prompted a life shift that has made me WHO I AM TODAY...

I am SO grateful for these childhood experiences...

I decided through that pain that I would not sit on the sidelines of life anymore! I would NOT go to high school being overweight and picked on...

I would learn how to LOVE good food that would enable me to TRULY enjoy eating (as it was and always WILL BE, one of my TRUE great loves!) and TRULY ENJOY life! I would allow myself to become a person I was proud of and AT HOME within my own body...

I refused to DIET; I refused to DEPRIVE and PUNISH my body....I wanted to do it the SMART way....

And so marked the beginning of a life-long journey that will of course continue until the day I cease to be...

I will not bore you with all the details, however, I thought it important to share with you just what it was that got me to start living with such awareness as many people do ask me how it is I have come to "be so wise".....

Basically PAIN...LOTS OF PAIN....

I do not necessarily think that pain is a vital catalyst to living a conscious life...it simply was mine...

I think too that often we deny, ignore or push PAIN away not realising the incredible gift it has to offer us...it truly can hold the SEED to an incredible life...it simply takes courage and commitment to not "medicate" it, but rather, face it head on with utter truth and deepself-reflection...

This has been my learning anyway...You may have another perspective all together which of course is perfect! We are completely UNIQUE beings, and that is one of the true beauty's of life!

There is another life-shifting memory that I went on to share with my partner last night, and that I would also love to share with you, as I realise now it too marked another point in which CONSCIOUS CHOICE and taking the "path less travelled" truly served me and enabled me to live the BLESSED and BLISSFUL life I do today...

It was the memory of living in Melbourne and having the most incredible job I could imagine, working with the most DIVINE team and being paid more than most dietetic managers get paid after working in the hospital system for 30 years...!!..I had a gorgeous partner who couldn't do enough for me, or do more to make my life utterly enjoyable; 2 beautiful dogs; a lovely and comfy home in a great location; 2 thriving Private Practices which I had worked very hard to get to that point, and life was GOOD...! At least, it SHOULD have been...right?!

Well yes, I felt I SHOULD have been more grateful and appreciative of my life yet I could not find that fire of passion within me that I so desperately wanted and KNEW was somewhere to discover....



I would drive home often exhausted, grumpy, feeling hollow and trying to figure out why I just wasn't happy....I had a LOT of time to reflect as it was an hour and twenty minutes drive ONE way in NO traffic from where I worked 2-3 days a week...!

Life got to such a point that I felt exactly as though I was living GROUNDHOG day, day after day, after day....! I know many others get to this point too....

I KNEW there was something not quite right...something that was calling me from elsewhere, yet I just could not work out what that was...

Then one day I did something completely spontaneous- and for me- dramatic! I decided ON THE SPOT, as I sat in my clinic in Woodend, that I was taking a HOLIDAY...! I could not remember the last time I had taken a HOLIDAY for no other reason than to CHILL and ENJOY life....

My prior 22 years had all been about being "constructive" with my time; "learning something new" at least once a day and consuming and digesting all the information I possibly could...I just had NO IDEA how to sit down for more than 3 seconds and simply ENJOY the moment...as for smelling the roses, why the hell would I do that...?!

What was the point...?! I still remember the attitude I owned which lead me to boldly proclaim to my partner, "Don't waste money buying me flowers, they just die...Instead, if you ever feel like buying them for me, put the money aside and buy me a bottle of perfume instead.."!!!

I am almost too ashamed to admit that...! How utterly facetious!



These days, flowers are one of those simple pleasures I adore and indulge in EVERY WEEK! I still cannot believe how different my perspective was back then...how much LIFE I was unknowingly missing out on....!

Anyway, yes, I decided to book a holiday! One of my good childhood friends had moved to the Sunny State of Queensland a few years earlier and I had always promised I would go and see her, but had never managed to carve out the time...

So, it was in a state of utter fatigue and dissatisfaction with life that I decided I would GO!

Within not too long I found myself in the most utterly divine place I could imagine...! I was incredulous that such a place could exist and even more staggered at just how I could possibly continue to live in Melbourne, knowing that there was A HEAVEN on EARTH...!

I felt for the FIRST TIME that thing I was yearning for...that FIRE of PASSION that I was so desperately missing in Melbourne....that thing that made me EXCITED and INSPIRED about life again...like I had, for the first time, experienced life in RICH, BOLD and CAPTIVATING colour, rather than drab, dull and uninspiring shades of GREY...!

I KNEW I had to move....I KNEW I could not continue life as I had been living it, EVEN THOUGH I enjoyed quite a charmed life....

I didn't care for the money, the success, the opportunities, the connections, the career-experience I was immersed in almost unboundedly...

When I told people my plans, I was met with nothing but remarks of complete discouragement... "What?!" "Why?!" "You'll hate it!" "You'll be back!" "They are 20 years behind" "There are NO career opportunities up there!" "Why would you go backwards??!"

Not too many people (if ANY at all) were encouraging...!

One of the most critical was of course my mum (bless her heart!) who exclaimed with embarrassment, "Don't tell people that! They'll think you are CRAZY! " to which I gleefully and defiantly replied, "I don't care what they think, that is what I am doing!"

So with that, within 2 months I had recruited a friend from Uni to take over the world's best ever Dietetics Position at my true love clinic in Woodend; found replacements for my 2 other Private Practices in Surrey Hills and Croyden; notified my landlord that I was breaking the lease; packed up my home; left another job I had at a Care Facility in Knox; said Goodbye to my friends and family and HIT THE ROAD in my loaded-to-the-brim '91 Honda Civic, on my way to Canberra. Yes, I conveniently co-incided my departure with the AIS's Sports Nutrition course so I could earn the credential of Sports Dietitian. (see, never one to miss an opportunity to add to my knowledge bank! haha)

So after quite a journey I found myself in Sunny QLD, waitressing on the Mooloolaba Esplanade, living with family friends and blissing out at how magical life was...!

This is really JUST THE BEGINNING of THE STORY OF MY LIFE...The past 4 years here in QLD really has lead to such a profound DISCOVERY OF ME, and if the truth be told, of the BEAUTY OF LIFE....

I will not go further into the details however, let me just say it was an INCREDIBLY tough journey at times, and there were moments I almost gave up and went home...it honestly got THAT hard...

I am pleased to say that I am SO GLAD I stuck it out....!

Again, through PAIN- sometimes more than I thought I could bare- I found the seeds of my YUMMY LIFE ;p



There you have it..!. Quite a ramble...!

The essence of what I am getting at though is I am so glad to have learned early that THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to me IS TO LIVE an AUTHENTIC life, ALIGNED with my TRUE self in which I have NO REGRETS...

To make up my OWN story about what life is about and LIVE by that, rather than buying into EVERYONE else's view of life...

You see I too could have easily ended up being one of "those people" who gets to the end of their life wondering, "What if?"

I could easily have stayed in my charmed and comfortable life in Melbourne, climbing the career ladder, being caught in the 9-5 rat race that so many people accept as "reality"....

Life, I'm sure would have been fine....good....pleasant....

It just wouldn't have been UNREAL....! AMAZING! SPECTACULAR! It wouldn't have made me TINGLE with sheer joy, excitement and BLISS....it wouldn't have made me laugh, cry and gasp with at times impossible-to-withold PASSION and GRATITUDE....!

I am SO GRATEFUL to have realised that I had a CHOICE... I am so glad that I allowed myself to follow my dream and listen to my quiet inner whisper....

I am SO thankful that I somehow found the courage and audacity to pave my own path....

I shared with my partner last night that I live my life ALL of the time KNOWING that any moment could be my last....

I live FULLY EXPRESSING my love, passion, emotions and inner truths, even though at times it leads to ridicule, judgement and "behind my back" sniggers....

Yes, there are things I would LOVE to do and I am confident I WILL get to one day....These are NOT things though that if I died tomorrow I would regret that I never did...They are simply experiences that I know will enrich my life further and be enjoyable to live through...

I am no longer in a rush to GET somewhere, ACHIEVE certain things or BE someone more....

I have learnt and realised that LIFE is NOW and WHO I am has nothing to do with what I am or am not DOING....what I have or have not ACHIEVED... what MATERIAL wealth I have or have not accumulated...

I have learnt to appreciate the MAGIC and MIRACLE of life in every MOMENT and truly feel RICH, BLESSED and AMAZED at the DEPTH of BEAUTY in life that I continue to uncover and discover...

I can honestly say that if and when I ever get to a point in life again where I feel and hear that yearn and whisper within...I will listen...and I will obey....

Living life ON PURPOSE is truly the most magical thing you could ever experience and LIVNG WITH NO REGRETS is truly my number 1 Life Policy......



What is yours? :)

For one of the most INCREDIBLE slide shows you will ever watch on the 5 Secrets to Life as shared by hundreds of people AT THE END OF THEIR LIFE....click here.....

This truly made me STOP AND THINK and I am ever so GRATEFUL I had the privilege to receive from it the wisdom of retrospect from so many lives lived before mine.....Every time I watch it I buzz with gratitude for my life and life in general....

I share it with as many people as I can, as I truly believe it is a gift...I hope you enjoy it too! :)

LOTS OF LOVE,

BridgetJane
Food Body Lifestyle Guru
Writer, Speaker, Consultant

Become a FACEBOOK FAN


www.newleafnutrition.com.au
http://bridgetjaneguru.blogspot.com
http://bridgetthompson.blogspot.com


Sunshine Coast, QLD

"Your health is everything...Discover your TRUE health potential"

The FLOOD...Reinventing you...

A common element of discussion of late with my clients has been, of course, around Identity. You know, that IDEA of who we think we are; who we project out to the world; the definitions and beliefs we have of and about ourselves; the assumptions we carry about who we are, what we are capable of and what type of person we are or are not.



It is rare that we actually stop to ponder the hard-wired program that is US. Each day and moment are so automatic; our responses and way of being so assumed; our understanding of WHO WE ARE simply accepted and played out as Gospel.

It is only when we start to dis-identify with ourselves and our way of being and instead begin to OBSERVE ourselves; our thoughts and actions, that we start to get some true insight into how all of these unspoken definitions, assumptions, judgements and labels play out in our life and create the picture of our current reality.

There are many examples lately that I could discuss here, however, one in particular stands out as an incredibly powerful experience to share.

One is of a lady in her forties, lets call her Pollyanna. Married with two children, I have been working with this gorgeous spirit for quite some time now. All along I could feel that there was something she was holding back; an impenetrable guard that stood between her soul and true essence, and the rest of the world, including me and even her own awareness.

You could quite frankly say, her heart was locked. A beautiful and endearing woman with a true heart of gold, however, when you looked more deeply, very guarded and beneath that, very fearful of being too vulnerable and open for hurt.



In order for me to make true progress with a person and to see true transformation, I need to work with my clients at a very DEEP level. Playing on the surface and rearranging the more tangible and visible aspects of life might SLOWLY lead to change, however it is often VERY HARD work and definitely NOT SUSTAINABLE. Working at this level requires LOTS of motivation, conscious effort and is VERY ENERGY DRAINING.

In contrast, when we work from the heart and soul level, change is INSPIRED and GUIDED and the possibilities are ENDLESS.

So although I knew that there was this block or barrier to making true change and shifts, I also knew too, that NOW was not the right time to push and prod. I knew simply to WAIT for this stuck state to reveal itself.

Well, the other day it did. It was so magical, so touching, so soul tingling-ly CLEAR, the shift JUST HAPPENED. By allowing the space, time, nurturing and patience required, it revealed its truth flowingly and with so much courage. It was such an amazing moment that it cannot be aptly described in words.

Here this woman's heart opened like a gorgeous rose, ready to bloom and show its true beauty. The vulnerability, the realness, the rawness...in that moment I witnessed true feminine liberation and power. It truly was earth-shatteringly spectacular.

I can confidently tell you that NOW this woman's true change will occur. By opening her heart to TRUTH, something she had closed off from for fear of the incredible hurt, Pollyanna was freed.

In that moment of truth of all the labels, lies and assumptions she had made about herself, her life, how she "should" be, how she "should" feel, how she "should" deal with life, simply DISSOLVED.

And from that platform of TRUE CLARITY and SPACE, the opportunity for new AWARENESS, DEFINITIONS and EXPERIENCES flooded open.



This woman became free to REINVENT herself; to observe and question, with honesty, how she was relating to herself, the world and others and to start to really CHOOSE how she will now do this, so that it BEST SERVES her.

You see as women, we often put our needs, desires and true feelings aside so that we can ensure our children and family are looked after first and foremost.

The thing is though, when we do not FIRST truly LOVE, NUTURE, HONOUR, FORGIVE and LOOK AFTER OURSELVES, we slowly push our heart, soul and true selves into the background, where our true love and light cannot be consistently seen or felt by those we love most.

It is true, in order to truly LOVE, FORGIVE and HONOUR others, we must FIRST do this for ourselves.

I am truly excited by the possibilities that have now opened for Pollyanna and the true LOVE she can now slowly EMBODY and EMBRACE allowing it to thereby naturally emanate out to all those she encounters.

Through pain, comes healing and the opportunity for true self reflection and awareness. Through pain we get to know ourselves better and how we allow the world to treat us; essentially how we treat ourselves.

Pain is not a necessary catalyst as such, however, if we embrace pain, rather than resist it when it comes up, it can be one of the most powerful transformational tools.

So the moral of the story with Pollyanna really is that a LIFETIME of denying and bottling up her PAIN, HURT, TRUTH and FEELINGS created an impenetrable barrier which kept her STUCK and perpetuating the same CURRENT REALITY over and over again, when she truly CRAVED change and growth.

By opening her heart to the FLOOD of pain and truth that she had been holding back, Pollyanna was able to start anew, from a completely cleared and freed up space.

Just as in nature, floods carry away and wipeout a landscape leaving it clear and free for REDEVELOPMENT, new beginnings, and recreation, so too do they at a soul level, if allowed. After clearing the devastation and destruction, there is space for the NEW, an entirely re-created landscape.



POWERFUL.

Perhaps, reflect and ponder where in YOUR life you hold back TRUTH and PAIN, in order to protect yourself. Consider too, how at any time you can let down this guard, allow the flood to occur, and then with time, love, courage and patience, allow healing and awakening to present to you to an entirely new possibility of yourself and life.

Realise that in any moment you can WIPE OUT the definitions, assumptions and labels that keep YOU STUCK and disempowered.

Any moment you can gracefully allow the flood and make way for a REINVENTION of you!


Have fun fellow creators :P

LOTS OF LOVE,

BridgetJane
Food Body Lifestyle Guru
Writer, Speaker, Consultant

Become a FACEBOOK FAN


www.newleafnutrition.com.au
http://bridgetjaneguru.blogspot.com
http://bridgetthompson.blogspot.com


Sunshine Coast, QLD

"Your health is everything...Discover your TRUE health potential"